Moodswings.

It took me 5 mins to create this blog. I had to do it real fast cos i need a venue to vent out my thots n expressions.. I'm having a throbbing headache u noe! ... I'm 10 n a half weeks pregnant. 1st pregnancy. And im doing this instead of a conventional book diary sort cos it can be really personal. I dont want any1 to know that my feelings n emotions r pouring over this blog until I want them to. and that wld probably be the days towards the end of my pregnancy period... I hope this blog would serve as a memory for myself.. a reference for my kid(s)/husband...etc. I'm really feeling so lonely today. Pregnancy.. esp early trimester, is not fun at all! It really sucks as much as it is delightful. I was excited n elated at the thot that I'm gonna be a mummy to enter a new phase of my life.. and totally appreciative of the care that I get from everyone, close or far... However, my body is not coorperating with my mind. especially when i'm working... I get so tired easily.. And even if that can be managed.. oh my god! My mood swings! Its totally out of control..n infact,its taking a toil on me.. If someone makes me happy.. i'm all GLEEFUL.. totally showin off all of my teeth.. If any1 hurts me.. or if i come across smth upsetting.. I can cry the whole day abt it, doesnt matter if its trivial.. I juz recoved from a week full of flu n inflammed throat.. so i didnt call mum cos i didnt want her to hear my 'sick' voice n get worried.. I got better 2 days ago.. but cldnt have a good convo with her.. I just called her n she was busy. Busy nursing her grandsons.. my brother was at home n i cld hear my dad at the back.. n she cut my call short. I really wanted to tell her.. ma pls talk to me.. im lonely. But i just didnt wanna mk myself sound worst. As it is, she's already sad tt she cant take care of me during my 1st pregnanncy. I always sound strong n confident when i speak to her. N cry after the call.. I really miss my mom. I really do. In my 27yrs of life, I never missed her this much. I never missed my family this much. It has been 7mths since i saw them.. I miss all of them alot... I juz hope i can see them..n stay with them for at least 3 days. Me n nasri shld be there.. I want my family to treat us well.. My colleagues n staff celebrate my pregnancy n make me feel so special. But somehow, i can enjoy the complete happiness of 'motherhood' cos i just miss something so important to me... I miss them so much... I really hope i will get a chance to see them all... Ameen